At Baggage Claim, Ya Gotta Take the Luggage in Your Name

Hello. I'm now back in my cozy bed in Deutschland. I've missed this bed so much! I've missed my whole room! And my dad and the countless number of pets, too. I'm just happy to be home!

Winston missed me. He's been following me around all day.

We had a pretty easy trip back. It was long but at least there wasn't any turbulence or medical emergencies. I don't know why but "if there is a doctor on board please indicate so with your flight attendant call button" tends to be said on most of my flights. We did, however, have a bit of a delay leaving JFK. We taxied out to the runway but it turns out our plane engine was broken so we had to go back to the gate and wait while the maintenance men fixed it. I watched all of Jurassic Park while this was going down. Yes, Jurassic Park. I'm already aware of how cool I am so there's no need to mention it. I also watched The Princess Diaries, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, and Pretty Little Liars while in flight in case you were wondering. Delta has added so many movies to their system. They had everything from Charade to The Lorax to Jane Eyre to The Hangover. It was ridiculous but very much appreciated. What was not appreciated was the seat. It was so uncomfortable for whatever reason. I felt bad reclining it because of the man behind me and, therefore, I was sitting straight up the whole time. It was probably good for my posture. Just go with it.

Baggage claim. This was slightly embarrassing. You know how when you're standing in baggage claim, you watch the bags coming up and before they drop on the conveyor belt, you try to see if it's yours? Well, I do that. I saw my purple suitcase come up and as it dropped, I and everyone else saw two tampons hanging on for dear life out of the newly formed hole in my suitcase. Before it made its way to where I was standing, I made it through the entire five stages of grief. First, I was in denial. It just couldn't be my bag and I was not picking it up. Second, I was pretty upset. Who put that hole there allowing this to happen?! Then, I hit the bargaining stage. I asked God if He would be willing to make the tampons disappear if I gave Delta it's Sky Mall magazine back. It was a no go so then I hit the stage of depression because, honestly, this was pretty tragic. By the time the suitcase made it's journey to me, I was already accepting the fact that I was going to have to pick up this sad looking suitcase. So I did. One tampon managed to fall back into the suitcase while the other fell completely out and made a few trips around the carousel until who knows finally ended it's ride.

If you're wondering how this could even happen, I'll tell you. I just throw things into my suitcase because who the heck cares?! Well, now somebody the heck cares. Me. I always thought I'd be the only one to see the mess I make out of a suitcase. Oh, me and the security people but I'm sure they see worse things. Thanks to my cheaply made suitcase, I'm now investing in a cosmetic bag, you know, in addition to new luggage.

Ya Live, Ya Learn.

I believe it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. That's what mistakes are there for, right? You learn from them and become a better person in the long run. I have to believe this because you can't imagine the number of stupid things I have done so far in my life. I'm not saying I was super bad or anything. It's not like I went to Vegas, drank a bottle of vodka, married my boyfriend in the little pink chapel and forgot about it all the next morning. What I am saying is that I have done little things that would not even occur to a normal human being to do. BUT I have learned from these mistakes and I don't plan on repeating them because, ya know, if you make a mistake twice, it's no longer a mistake. It's a choice. I just love Lauren Conrad.

With this being said, I will write about something that happened tonight. My mom is selling a bunch of things that we no longer use. I decided to sell my old Nintendo DS. The problem was that I couldn't find the charger for it. I started looking everywhere for this charger. While doing this, I came across an old list that Amanda and I had made two years ago. It's titled "What Not to Do...Ever." Listed from 1 to 43 are the mistakes that we had committed until that point that we thought were most noteworthy. I'm only going to share a few of them. There's still some sting behind some and others are just too embarrassing. Without further adieu, here are some of the lessons we've learned:

1. Smart cars were meant to hold two people, not three.
2. Camping in short shorts, a tank top, and no blankets is not okay.
3. If you find yourself at a bar, do not sit next to an old, drunk man even if it is the last seat left.
5. Be aware of the number you are sending a text to. Mixing up contacts can be embarrassing. Especially if you end up texting your coach when you meant to text your boyfriend.
11. Some people were just meant not to have Facebook profiles. Do not mess with that.

15. Leave your teacher's sons alone. Alone alone.
18. Do not wear heels to graduation. Why? See picture.
19. Do not drop a bottle of soda on the pavement in a tourist hot spot. Ever play jump rope with a spraying bottle of soda? Ever have people taking pictures of you as you are playing jump rope with a spraying bottle of soda?
20. Never go ice skating. End of story.
24. Make sure you check the address you put in the GPS. There is a chance that it is taking you to the wrong destination.
27. Playing 'dealbreakers' with a guy is not the best idea.
32. Remember to bring your passport. Even if you are only going to France.
33. Do not take questionable food from anyone even if it is from the nice lady at church.
34. Bodily functions should wait until after the silent parts of a movie. Especially if you are in a theater.
35. Locking the steering wheel of your car in a place where no one will ever find you is quite possibly the scariest thing to happen to someone. Ever. Don't try it.
36. It's probably best if you don't ask a guy why he is flirting with you if he has a girlfriend.
37. Try to be aware of when you're being asked out on a date. Otherwise, you will be going on one...accidentally.
38. Keep track of your car keys when taking pictures under the state border signs. If you lose the keys in that grass, I wish you good luck in finding them.
39. Sharing drinks with another girl's date isn't smart.
41. Rexburg police have nothing to do. Make sure you park in the right places or you may find an orange envelope on your car in the morning.

You may be thinking that these aren't real mistakes and yeah, I guess we could have done a lot worse in life but my point is that mistakes are to be learned from. And, believe me, we learned from these few instances. So, it's okay to make mistakes. Go make as many as you like. Unless it's the really consequency kind. You shouldn't make those and that is why they teach you about them in school. Okay. Now go have fun with life and don't be scared of messing up. You may just have a funny story later! :)

A Star on the Wrapper

I'm not a risk taker. Well, when it comes to my hair I'm not a risk taker. Never will you ever see me putting neon colors in my hair (even if it's temporary) or going all Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus on it. Nope. Can't do it. I don't have the guts to do such things to my beautiful hair. Yes, I just called my own hair beautiful. The hairdresser said it herself first though. She said I have beautiful, thick hair. She also said I had enough hair for five people. It makes drying and straightening it quite tedious. Anyway, I was asked if I wanted a trim or a cut. I said a trim. Sounded the safest. I was asked if I wanted to keep the layers and have it thinned out. Yes and yes. Then the whole process started.

I've posted before about how much I hate getting my hair cut. It's just not a fun time. First comes the hair washing. There's something about someone massaging my head and ugh, everyone says it feels so good. I just feel all awkward. Then the actual cutting starts. Something different happened this time though. As I'm sitting there staring at myself in the mirror noting how unflattering the cape was on me (really, nobody can make that look good, I don't care who you are), a lady walks in with two puppies. They were the cutest little things I ever did see! So adorable. They were little, fluffy, white fur balls. They were eight weeks old! The lady who had them asked if I'd like to hold one. Well, duh! So I sat there holding a puppy as my hair got cut. The hairdresser just smiled and talked to my mom, who was also there getting her hair cut. I seriously just sat there stroking the puppy and picking off any hair that fell on it. The sweet thing just fell asleep. I was off in La-La-Land totally disregarding my surroundings and, before I knew it, my hair was done! I think someone should bring a puppy in every time I get my hair cut. I'll be honest though and say you can't really see a difference from before my hair got cut and after it got cut. I kind of like it that way. Nothing to risky!

Told you. It's okay, you can laugh. The only real difference is that there are more layers, its more flippy at the bottom because of where it hits my shoulders when I sit up straight, and it's a bit softer and healthier now that the split ends are gone. I forgot to ask to have my bangs cut. I'll just keep pinning them back until I can go have them cut. I still can't get over how cute those puppies were though. I wish I had a picture of that!

P.S. I ate a Tootsie Pop while doing my homework today. I was chatting with Amanda at the same time. She told me that if there was a star on my wrapper, I could win a free lollipop. There was a star on my wrapper! I then started going through all the Tootsie Pops in the halloween bowl and unwrapping them. I did get a look from Papa while doing this but, hey, free lollipop? That's worth it. Every one of them had a star on the wrapper. Sketchy. I decided to Google this madness. Turns out it's just a rumor. So there I sat...disappointed and with nine unwrapped lollipops.

It's October!

It's been October for a while but it's now officially October. I finally got my pumpkins! I love picking out my pumpkin every year. I have been picking out my own pumpkins since ever. I can remember the days when my elementary school would take a trip to the pumpkin patch and every one picked out the pumpkin they thought was best. Then we would take a hayride through the pumpkin patch back to the main entrance. Oh, and there were cookies and apple cider, of course! Those were the days, but, to be honest, I haven't grown out this pumpkin picking business. I was pretty upset to hear my mom suggest we just buy our pumpkins at the commissary. It's just not the same. Picking a pumpkin out of a box in the middle of the grocery store just doesn't cut it. Besides, I wanted to take pictures. 

Speaking of taking pictures...my mom and I encountered a little problem in the beginning. You just don't fully understand what happens when the two of us get together until you have experienced it. I'm not saying we're stupid but the train is definitely not in the station if ya know what I mean. My mom starts taking pictures of me and then she goes to view them. She says, "Oh, the lighting is bad over here." So we go elsewhere. The "lighting" was bad there, too. After about fifteen minutes, I take the camera and look. Yeah, we were so on the wrong settings but neither of us thought to check. We just kind of laugh it off. Like always. Here's the result of our little mishap. Warning: You might need sunglasses.

Prague

This past weekend I went to Prague with the Cherringtons. I just love them. All of them, even little Alison (we still argue constantly, no worries, everything is still normal). Anyway, I took some pictures while I was there. Not many though. Here's a few of my favorites:

Prague. Yummy food!

The sun finally came back! 

Beautiful!

Churches everywhere!

The John Lennon Wall. We signed on the 'e' of love.

This trip, like all others with the Cherringtons, had its fair share of quotes. I wrote some out. I'm still laughing. And be sure to watch the video. It's worth it.

"Alison, am I invited to your wedding?" -Me

"If you're still alive." *insert dirty look here* -Alison

"You realize you just dissed yourself, don't you?" -Dallin

"You know how animals crossbreed? Well if cars did that..." -Dallin

"So, did Bella become a vampire?" -Alison

"I'm sorry, what did you call dibs on?" -Amanda

"But if they all get married, then my life is over!" -Me

"Hold on. What? Are you okay?" -Amanda
"I will never be okay!" -Me
"You're such a girl. I'll never understand them." -Dallin

"Awww, Emilyyy, come talk to Papa Cherringtooon." -Papa Cherrington

"So the John Lennon Wall is part of the Berlin Wall?" -Amanda

"I put on my paper that you were the smart one in the family..." -Alison

"Ahh! What is this dance? What the footwork?" -Hard Rock Cafe Guy

"Oh, this is just me." -Amanda

"Hey! Look! It's Amanda's favorite animal. An ass!" -Papa Cherrington

"Did you stop and pick blueberries? What took so long?" -Papa Cherrington

"I fell down the hill." -Dallin

*In the hall with everyone & sirens start*
"What the hell is that?!" -Me

"Hmm....you should see your face right now. It's as pink as my leg." -Amanda

"Oooo, Emily, they're coming for you." -Alison

"That's where they put the little girls that talk too much." -Amanda

"Nooooooooo!" -Alison

"I feel funny." -Amanda

"Emily doesn't get cold, she doesn't get hot, she doesn't pee, she doesn't talk in the car. She's the perfect child." -Papa Cherrington
"Don't get me started." -Amanda

"Stupid girls." -Dallin

"So how thick are these walls?" -Amanda

"People aren't supposed to bend that way." -Dallin

"I'm flexible. Or so they say." -Me

"Hey! I'm known for being flexible too!" -Alison

"Uh. By who?" -Dallin
"My gymnastics teacher. You can ask her! If she's still alive. She was old." -Alison

"You know, everyone thinks you're quiet, shy and sweet. Little do they knoww..." -Me
"Yeah, they're sadly mistaken." -Amanda

"The world doesn't revolve around you." -Me
"Yeah, well you don't revolve around the world!" -Alison

"They put a boot on his car?" -Alison

"I feel like I'm back in Rexburg." -Me

"I was thinking the same thing." -Amanda

"Does the camel back there have to pee yet?" -Papa Cherrington
"Noo, and I'm not a camel." -Me
"You never pee." -Amanda
"Sally, the camel, has five humps. So, ride, Sally, riiide!" -Jana Cherrington

"You know, when that announcement was being made, we were probably waiting for them to exchange water." -Amanda

"Probably." -Me

"Or we were confusing those Czech boys in the Apple Store." -Amanda
"Could have been." -Me

"Or we were watching everyone chant with that homeless man." -Amanda

"That would be a tragic story" -Me

"Ohmygosh. That is exactly what we were doing when they announced we could serve missions. The exact time." -Amanda

"I don't know if this is funny or sad." -Me

Ezra, Krin, Dallin & Patrick chanting with a homeless guy. Not even a minute after a cop telling this guy to chill, these guys go up and start dancing with him. Notice the people on the right taking pictures of the whole group. So funny.

Call Me Snow White

Because I look like her.

I'll start from the beginning.

I decided to go visit my best fraaaan, Amanda, in Utah before heading home to New York for the summer. Whenever we get together, it equals disaster. It's inevitable. It's fun but almost always has some sort of consequence. This time it was my hair. But we're not to that part of the story yet.

I get to Utah on Saturday morning and the first thing we do, after struggling to get the suitcase in the trunk (holy heaviness!) is go to lunch. Pizza, pizza, pizza. I could live on pizza. So goood! Then we head to City Creek for a day of shopping. I don't know what I love more, pizza or shopping. We hit all the best stores, of course.

I went crazy in H&M and Forever21 while Amanda tried on a million lipsticks in Sephora. Actually, not gonna lie, we both tried on lipsticks but only Amanda bought one. Ha, no. She bought one, returned it for another at a different mall and then returned that one two days later to City Creek. That's how that went. We're not cut out for bright red lips. This was only round one of shopping though. I'll leave out what happened at dinner time but it made my day. Poor Amanda broke out in hives! hehehe.

Then we went to dinner at Costa Vida. Sweet Pork Nachos. Another staple in my life. A yummy staple. From there we went to visit Amanda's grandma at rehab. She just had surgery and they load her up on the pain meds so it's always fun to talk to her after those lovely doses. This night took the cake though.

We get there and she's telling us how there's this amazingly cute boy named Jason working there. He would be perfect for Amanda because he's a bit short and, uhm, CUTE! So we are sitting in her room talking about our day and theres a knock at the door. In comes "Jason". Amanda's grandma says, "Hiiiii, Jason!" "Uh, I'm not Jason...I'm Taylor." "Oh, well this is my granddaughter and her friend." "Oh, that's nice. I'll come back later then." "Well don't you want to meet them?" "Alright, let's meet them then." ...awkward. So we went on to meet Taylor and run into him on our way out. Lovely.

Then we go to Walmart for the necessities of life. Wanna know what's by those necessities? Hair dye. So I get the lovely idea to have Amanda dye my hair. I pick out dark brown. Dark, dark brown. BROWN. We check out and head home.

Once home, Amanda reads the instructions like. 4 times. At least. We sit in the bathroom and she starts. I had little faith in her and say aloud, "I should have waited and had Jana do it." Well, that pushed a button and she says, "I'm going to do a freakin' amazing job! Forget Jana." This led to dye going everywhere. Everywhere. Including all down my hands and on Amanda's leg. The yellow towel? Now brown.

After the dye was in for a while, Amanda says, "How we washin' this out?" And I tell her in the bathtub. "That's cool," she says, "but we don't have a detachable shower nozzle." Awesome. So here we are with a pitcher pouring water over my head. Then me dunking my head in the bucket of water. It was a mess. The bathtub now has a brown tint and brown water splatters everywhere. It's great. After getting all the dye out, we dry my hair. There was no difference between the color of my wet hair and the color of my dry hair. It's that dark. Whoaaa.

It's starting to grow on me though. I'm a more beautiful Snow White. Especially with the new make-up we bought at City Creek : ).

P.S. Four people asked us why we didn't just rinse my hair out in the ginormous kitchen sink. We're dumb.

Camera Dilemma

I have a problem when it comes to my dad's camera. That problem is the fact that I cannot work it. The moon was shining so brightly tonight. I wanted a picture that showed this. I did not get that. I got a million blurry pictures of the moon...and the camera made it look like the sun. All orange and yellow. Somebody would guess that it's the sun rising..not the moon.

The sky was not smokey. The moon was not sunny. Real life isn't blurry.

I was having a fit. "Why can't the camera see what I see?!" I kept asking my dad. "Shhh! You're scaring the fish!" he said back. I also think I was giving the old people next door a heart attack. They probably thought WWIII was happening with all the camera flashes going off by their house. And that's when I realized...turn off the flash.

So I did. And though I'm pretty sure I'm not taking the picture on the correct settings for night time and all...I got a semi-decent picture. I really need to read the manual. Not that my father did. And he has had this camera for years. Anyway, try to imagine this picture with a moon that's a million times brighter and bigger and with non-blurry lights in the background.

I Need A Baby.

Yes. This is the thought that went through my head numerous times in church today. Of course, there's a great story behind it so here it goes!

Before the start of Sunday School, the teacher was walking around asking if anybody was willing to read quotes she had printed out. I turned to my mom and said, "Just don't make eye contact." The teacher walked by and guess what! We weren't given a quote. Yay!

As the teacher is still preparing before the lesson begins, a woman comes and sits in the seat in front of me. She has a baby in a carrier and places it on the floor next to her chair. The baby girl was adorable. She was sound asleep with her eyelids and fingers twitching every so often.

The teacher starts setting up her microphone and the speakers were turned up waaay too loud. The baby carrier was rather close to the speakers. The baby started stirring but hadn't fully woken up yet. Then the lesson began and the teacher's voice eventually woke the baby up.

Apparently, when babies wake up, they have to be fed. Wanna know how I learned that? This is how. The mother turns around, looks at my mother and I, and says, "Can one of you two read this quote? I have to go feed her and I won't be back in time to read it." Ah, fetch. I take the quote knowing my mother wouldn't read it. I was never so opposed to reading outloud as I was at that point. Mainly because I hadn't been paying attention to the lesson up to that point seeing as my mother had brought M&Ms to church and I was focussed on picking all the blue ones out to eat.

All I kept thinking was, "I need a baby. If I had a baby, I could get out of anything. They eat and cry so much. I need to borrow somebody's baby. Right. Now."

"Who has quote number 2?" says the teacher. I raise my hand. "Do you need the microphone? Somebody get her a microphone, it's better this way." I beg to differ. So I'm given the microphone and, because I'm so close, it starts making this noise that sounds like a spaceship. So I just start talking louder and hold the microphone as far from the speaker as I could. It was a sight to see. The quote paper in one hand and the microphone in the other, nowhere near my mouth. Longest quote ever. Or, at least, it felt like it.

I finish the quote and hand the microphone back to the guy that gave it to me. I was happy to get rid of that. My mom says, "I'm proud of you. You spoke even though you didn't want to." I turn towards her and smile. Then her face goes into this huge smirk. "Ohhh noo," I'm thinking, "What now?" "You're lips and teeth are blue...very blue," she says. Of course they are.

The mother comes back with her baby no more than five minutes after I read that quote. She turns to me and says, "Did you read it yet?" "Yes." "Oh, thank you!" "No problem!"

Lesson learned: Don't eat blue M&Ms in church. Or better yet, pay attention to the lessons! :)

Who Says Girls Can't Throw?

Anyone that truly knows me knows I have a talent for finding trouble. I'm 100% sure this talent was inherited through my mother and, if you're ever lucky enough to be around us at the same time, be prepared. It can get a little crazy. It's been less than a week that we've been together and there's already so many stories I could tell but last night's story tops them all.

My mother and I have decided to start going to the gym. I repeat - we DECIDED to start. We haven't actually gone yet. We were supposed to go last night but we thought xbox kinect would be more fun. She bought the Jillian Michaels fitness game so we thought we could easily count that as gym time. As my mother is taking her turn, I'm being supportive saying things like, "Hey! You're doing it right. Look at you all fit and stuff." She finishes up her turn *cough*givesup*cough* and I get up to take my turn. As I'm taking my turn, my mother is saying things like "You need to bring your legs up higher." & "Why can't you balance?!" & "You have to stay with Jillian's pace." Ohmyheavens. I wanted to scream. As I'm doing a set of sit-ups, my mom says, "Is that how you always do them?" in a disapproving tone. So I grab the tennis ball my dog had and throw it at her. As soon as it leaves my hand, I'm thinking "Oh no! Don't hit her in the head. Please don't hit her in the head." Where does it go? Right smack in the middle of her forehead. When is my aim ever good? She was mid-sentence when it hit her. She sat there stunned for a minute and then grabs my legs. I'm trying to get away because I'm scared for my life but there's no point 'cause she is one strong woman. She has me pinned to the ground and she grabs another tennis ball and throws it at my face. It hit me in the jaw but that was the least of my worries. I'm still laying there wondering how much trouble I'm in but we both just look at each other and bust out laughing to the point of tears. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

For the rest of the night, I got to hear about how she believed she had a concussion. I guess we also know where I've learned to be over dramatic.

A Break from the West

Last Saturday, I flew home for Christmas break. It's so great to be home. There's a lot that I'm liking about being here. Especially the fact that I get to eat real food! So far it has been pretty relaxing. I've just been hanging out with my parents and baking TONS of Christmas cookies. I did get to have my first doner, which, for all of you that have lived over here know, was a pretty big deal. I was so excited for that first bite that I got a bit of paper in my mouth. I'm going to be honest. I was too happy to be eating that first bite that I didn't even bother to get that bit of paper out. So. I ate paper. Yum. I also made my first trip to base today. I got stuck in the "baggers only" doors at the commissary. It was so embarrassing! Ohwell. I can laugh about it now.
The only downside about flying from Idaho to here is the jetlag that comes along with it. Hopefully I get over it soon. Until then, I'll continue to watch movies and eat brownies until 4AM. Yay! Actually, I've been watching quite a few home videos. They make me smile. And how could they not? Just look at how cute I was!

My First Birthday : )

The Timeline.

Many people are switching to the timeline view of facebook. I also decided to switch. I love seeing all of the things that I've posted or the things that others have posted on my wall in the past. Some of it is making me crack up. I thought I would share a few of my favorites:

"So this is what happened:i walk into my house and my mom didn't want me to look at something so she like pokes me in the eye and i accidentally just let "what the hell?" slip out.so my sister asks my mom why i swore, she says i don't know. and alison says, 'its probably because she's been around mr. o'connor.'"

-Amanda

"It's going to get BEASTLY outside!" 

-Grandma

"guess what? i cried. because i miss my best friend, and i haven't even left yet. not a good sign. and i totally feel like a lame-o friend, but your present is in the works. you'll love it. my mom will bring it to you because it's not quite done yet! well, i miss you, best friend. come to utah. soon."

-Amanda

"I wish you luck with riding in a hot air balloon."

-Amanda

"Emily! Forget water aerobics...let's go to the bazaar and eat all the food!"

-Angelia

"Only Martha Stewart can get this knot out." (after tying my apron too tight at work).

-Angelia

"Martha Stewart is stupid."

-Jana

"Hmmm... think I just dyed Emily's hair orange.... bright side... she can be a pumpkin for Halloween."

-My Mother

"You should get of FB and spend time with your family members..... Please note I signed onto FB only to post that." 

-David (cousin)

"I want you to play checkers with normal boys."

-Jana

"Why the hell did you buy 'ho' earrings?"

-My Mother

"They looked a lot smaller online!"

-ME

"I loved that movie! I'd watch it again if I could...so who was Tron?"

-Amanda

"28 year old art majors are dealbreakers." 

-Jana

"went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played."

-Angelia

" Favorite Memory: You on the floor dying of laughter bc I pushed that guy out the door lmao"

-Brittany

"You're my special friend."

-Jana

"You're my hot friend."

-Me

"I was trying to teach you to fish by throwing you in the water."

-Jessica

"EMILY! You posted on my wall at 3 in the morning.....and 4 in the morning....WHAT THE HECK?! I love you! You're getting baptized today :)"

-Jana

"How did the strings get this way?"

-Parker

"I pretended that I knew what I was doing and turned all the knobs."

-Me


"um Emily, the dude was coming STRAIGHT at us on the road & we almost landed in a pond! "Holy Tractor" could have been my last words...it was the only thing I could muster in such a moment of panic! and, just for the record, I pray that you will not be a driver such as myself...I never received the proper training- I just did what the next German did. But there is hope for you my dear."
-Abbey


"And where were your glasses?"
-My Mother
"I pulled them out of my magic sleeve!"
-Jana

"I'm going to go find an old lady who is deaf and would like a companion. That's where I'll send you."

-My Grandma

"I discovered reeeeeaaaaaal quick to get out of terminal F. I found terminal B and hung out there for awhile....now I'm back at F.....dees people sure do got dat aatttiituuude."

-Jana

"I got on Pinterest this evening and saw a bunch of pictures of beautiful men. I believe I have you to thank for this."

-Clarice

"Are you two high? You don't know what kind of cake you made?"

-O'Cutie


"Emily Darling Rice-A-Roni, I think you are probably one of my favorite people...ever haha"
-Abbey

"Du hast ein herz kaputt."

-Jana


"LEARN THAT PART"
-Mr. Pellaton


"so i tried looking up the world record for longest daisy chain, but there isnt one. so i'm going to set it."
-Amanda

"Amy Winehouse should have gone to rehab but no, no, no."
-My Mother

"You cannot be left unsupervised, dear."

-Lindsay

"We're up on a hill in Fort Montgomery. It sounded like a spaceship landed in our backyard."

-Jana
"She says this sober."
-Me
"HEY!"
-Jana


"Emily, really?? We feed you, I save your life, I get you safely home and no cookies?? None. Not one. Think about it."
-Abbey


"And who is going to snuggle with you then?!"
-Lindsay

"I almost cried for a different reason." -Lindsay 

The Week of Mishaps.

My week of mishaps started last Sunday. It went like this:

Sunday: The One with the Super Glue

My friend, Jana, and I were sharing stories Sunday night. I had my computer out and I looked at the bottom and noticed that a part was coming off. I decided that super glue would be the best way to fix it. Due to previous mishaps with super glue I'm not allowed to have it. I asked Jana what was on the bed behind her so she would turn around and I could easily grab the super glue without her noticing. Mission accomplished. So as she's finishing up her story, I'm trying to squeeze super glue onto the broken part of my laptop cover. Nothing was coming out of the top. I didn't see any scissors anywhere so I tried biting the blocked part of the super glue bottle off. Yeah, not my finest idea. As I was trying to bite the top off, I squeezed a good amount of super glue into my mouth. There was super glue all over my teeth, under my tongue and on my lips. My face probably expressed my fear because Jana says, "Emily! What's wrong?!" Once she sees the super glue in my hand, she knows. And freaks out. I cried. Not gonna lie. It's all okay now though. Just so everybody is aware, hot water will remove super glue from your mouth.

Monday: No More Toothbrush

While getting ready Monday morning, I placed my flat iron on my toothbrush by mistake. I was waitng for it to heat up and walked away. I came back to a horrid smell. The smell of burning plastic. I lifted up my straightner and coming off of it were strings of melted plastic. I melted the top of my toothbrush. Yay.

Tuesday: The Pizzas

This is one that I was able to keep from my roommates. On Tuesday, my friend, Clarice, and I decided that we wanted to have pizza for dinner with some other people. She left me in charge of ordering the pizzas. Shouldn't be difficult, right? Wrong. The amazing thing I find about America is that you can order pizza online. I love ordering things online. Anyway, so I'm ordering the pizzas and I accidentally hit that I'm paying with cash. Yeahh. Cash I don't have. So there I go walking to campus to get out money. Then I go to break one of the twenties. With the amount of walking I did to get the money for the pizzas, I could have just gone and picked them up too. Oh, and turns out that there is a money machine right around the corner from my apartment. Good to know.

Wednesday: Ein Großes Fehler

Wednesday was my "productive" day. Until 10:30. At 10:30 I decided to take my online exam for german. I had to sign my name for the first question. After doing this, I hit submit. A message comes up saying, "You have not answered one or more questions. Continue?" I say yes. Turns out I should have said "no" because I just sent in a blank final. So to fix this problem, I go to e-mail my teacher. In the subject line I put "ein groer fehler" ...and sent it. Why? Because the symbol for 'ß' is made by hitting the option +s button. That is also the combination that sends an e-mail. So I send in a blank final and a blank e-mail all in one night. Yay.

Thursday: Helloo, Tree

Nothing bad really happened on Thursday. Just dumb little things such as running into tree branches that have snow on them (I got wet), dropping an eggshell in the cake batter (I got it out), and apparently when you're told to turn the heat way down, that doesn't mean to 54. I thought 17 people in one apartment would be enough heat for the night. It was until 2am. 

Friday: My Bad

This was the day that I got all my stuff to my storage unit. I went with Jana's mother and brother to do this. We had to get some of Jana's sister's stuff out and put mine in. Her mother asked if I knew where the office was so they could get a storage unit. I told them that there was a building on the corner of the block where the office was. Nope. It was vacant. Then I realize that I'm holding the business card for the place. It has the phone number on it so they call up and ask if they can get a storage unit and such. Then I hear them ask for the address on the place and I look at the card in my hand again and see that the address is written on it. Yeah. I know. I'm a great person to have around the day after an emergency :)

Saturday: The Day of Travel

I woke up at 4am to get ready. Why I thought it would take me 2 hours to get ready, I have no idea. At 5:30am I decide to go wake up Jana. Not only did I wake up Jana, I woke up her mother. Sorrrrry. And I made sure Jana stayed awake until I left.

"Everyone needs an annoying little sister and everyone needs a bossy big sister." -Jana. 

I knew going into the airport that my bag was probably over 50lbs. And it was but I'm pretty sure my lost, innocent face gets me out of anything cause the guy just smiled and said, "ohwell." Ohhhyeahh. Then I bought headphones because I lost my old ones. I spent from 2:14pm  - 2:55pm opening them. Scissors just don't exist in the travelling world because you can take over the country with them. So I used my thumb nail. And it hurt. But totally worth it. On the plane to Frankfurt, a fight broke out. Most people would be alarmed but I just kinda watched. I was just hoping that we didn't have to land like the flight attendant said we would because I just wanted to get the trip over with. After living with 5 other girls, you learn that little arguments burn out fast. When we landed in Frankfurt, I went looking for the baggage claim. And somehow missed it. That's right. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that can manage to skip baggage claim. It's okay though because I eventually realized that I didn't have my bag and went back to find it. All is well!

Ice Ice Baby.

My roommate came home the other night with her brother. They decided that they wanted to try this pizza place down the street called "Five Buck Pizza". After much debate over how much it would actually cost (yeah.. I know), her brother was ready to go order it. He didn't want to go alone and my roommate did not want to go with him. I don't blame her. It was freeeezing outside. From that last sentence, you can probably tell that I was the one who ended up walking there with him.

Once we get to the bottom of the stairwell leading down from my apartment, I find a problem. The streets are covered in black ice. My roommate's brother starts going on about how he's happy I came with him blah, blah, blah but all I'm thinking is, "Holy mother, this is ice.". I told him that I don't mind going with him on these short trips as long as he catches me when I slip on ice.

One thing you should know is that I'm pretty close to this family and have known them for a while, which explains his response to what I said. He says, "bahahaha, this is ringing some bells in my head from last winter."

Here's what happened last winter. I went ice skating. For the first time and oh boy was it an experience. I just stood on the ice and fell. I didn't even have to move my feet. I held onto my friends so tightly. But that didn't help. I still fell every five minutes or so (no exaggeration). For my last few rounds around the ice skating rink, I linked arms with my roommate's brother to keep from falling. I'm pretty sure he couldn't believe how unstable I was on the ice but, hey, whaddaya gonna do? Anyways, he kept me from falling though there were a few close calls and lots of screaming (from me). I was scared. Then a song came on the radio that I reallllly liked and decided to sing to. I was more into my song than the skating because I somehow ended up on a path that was sure to end in a collision with a lady in front of me. My roommate's brother, trying to save me from that embarrassment, pulled me to the side, which resulted in the worst fall of them all. My roommate yelled, "Way to go!" from across the rink. It was greeeeat. But hey, good memory, right?

I remember coming home that night and my father saying, "Let's see your knees." I pulled up my pant legs to show him the red and purple bruises. It stayed that way through Christmas. It was a painful few weeks. I truly despise ice. Ice is dumb.

A Generation of Wimps

While eating lunch the other day, my lovely roommate found an article in the paper about "wimpy children". It was going on about how parents have babied their kids all their lives and, now that they are at college, they cannot do things on their own. As she was reading it aloud, I got a look from another one of our friends.

Normally, I would try to defend myself. Normally. Just one problem. The day before this lovely lunch was clean-check day. This is when somebody comes around and checks the apartment. Everyone has a job they are responsible for. My job that week was to clean all the kitchen appliances. The oven was a mess! I found "All-Purpose" cleaner under the sink and began spraying it and scrubbing. This is when my mom got on skype. She asked what I was up to. I told her how I was cleaning the oven. She asked what kind of oven cleaner I was using. This is when it was acknowledged that bleach was in this all-purpose cleaner and , when used in ovens, causes toxic fumes. Joy. So there I am using soap and water half cleaning, half praying. I'm not sure how well of a job I did getting all the bleach out but a dessert was cooked in the oven this weekend. People ate it. Everyone is alive. I think I did well.