Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Walk in the Snow

It started snowing yesterday afternoon and I hoped that it would stick around until this morning. I wanted to get some pictures of it before it all melted! It never snows enough here and the snow we do get melts way too fast. It's funny to see the children trying to make snowmen out of a half inch of powdered snow.

I woke up early and bundled up. My dog and I made our way up to the farm fields. He had a tennis ball and I had my dad's camera. We were prepared :)

Early Morning Sun

Farm Fields

The Road Home

Always with a Tennis Ball

Monday, January 30, 2012

I Need A Baby.

Yes. This is the thought that went through my head numerous times in church today. Of course, there's a great story behind it so here it goes!

Before the start of Sunday School, the teacher was walking around asking if anybody was willing to read quotes she had printed out. I turned to my mom and said, "Just don't make eye contact." The teacher walked by and guess what! We weren't given a quote. Yay!

As the teacher is still preparing before the lesson begins, a woman comes and sits in the seat in front of me. She has a baby in a carrier and places it on the floor next to her chair. The baby girl was adorable. She was sound asleep with her eyelids and fingers twitching every so often.

The teacher starts setting up her microphone and the speakers were turned up waaay too loud. The baby carrier was rather close to the speakers. The baby started stirring but hadn't fully woken up yet. Then the lesson began and the teacher's voice eventually woke the baby up.

Apparently, when babies wake up, they have to be fed. Wanna know how I learned that? This is how. The mother turns around, looks at my mother and I, and says, "Can one of you two read this quote? I have to go feed her and I won't be back in time to read it." Ah, fetch. I take the quote knowing my mother wouldn't read it. I was never so opposed to reading outloud as I was at that point. Mainly because I hadn't been paying attention to the lesson up to that point seeing as my mother had brought M&Ms to church and I was focussed on picking all the blue ones out to eat.

All I kept thinking was, "I need a baby. If I had a baby, I could get out of anything. They eat and cry so much. I need to borrow somebody's baby. Right. Now."

"Who has quote number 2?" says the teacher. I raise my hand. "Do you need the microphone? Somebody get her a microphone, it's better this way." I beg to differ. So I'm given the microphone and, because I'm so close, it starts making this noise that sounds like a spaceship. So I just start talking louder and hold the microphone as far from the speaker as I could. It was a sight to see. The quote paper in one hand and the microphone in the other, nowhere near my mouth. Longest quote ever. Or, at least, it felt like it.

I finish the quote and hand the microphone back to the guy that gave it to me. I was happy to get rid of that. My mom says, "I'm proud of you. You spoke even though you didn't want to." I turn towards her and smile. Then her face goes into this huge smirk. "Ohhh noo," I'm thinking, "What now?" "You're lips and teeth are blue...very blue," she says. Of course they are.

The mother comes back with her baby no more than five minutes after I read that quote. She turns to me and says, "Did you read it yet?" "Yes." "Oh, thank you!" "No problem!"

Lesson learned: Don't eat blue M&Ms in church. Or better yet, pay attention to the lessons! :)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Who Says Girls Can't Throw?

Anyone that truly knows me knows I have a talent for finding trouble. I'm 100% sure this talent was inherited through my mother and, if you're ever lucky enough to be around us at the same time, be prepared. It can get a little crazy. It's been less than a week that we've been together and there's already so many stories I could tell but last night's story tops them all.

My mother and I have decided to start going to the gym. I repeat - we DECIDED to start. We haven't actually gone yet. We were supposed to go last night but we thought xbox kinect would be more fun. She bought the Jillian Michaels fitness game so we thought we could easily count that as gym time. As my mother is taking her turn, I'm being supportive saying things like, "Hey! You're doing it right. Look at you all fit and stuff." She finishes up her turn *cough*givesup*cough* and I get up to take my turn. As I'm taking my turn, my mother is saying things like "You need to bring your legs up higher." & "Why can't you balance?!" & "You have to stay with Jillian's pace." Ohmyheavens. I wanted to scream. As I'm doing a set of sit-ups, my mom says, "Is that how you always do them?" in a disapproving tone. So I grab the tennis ball my dog had and throw it at her. As soon as it leaves my hand, I'm thinking "Oh no! Don't hit her in the head. Please don't hit her in the head." Where does it go? Right smack in the middle of her forehead. When is my aim ever good? She was mid-sentence when it hit her. She sat there stunned for a minute and then grabs my legs. I'm trying to get away because I'm scared for my life but there's no point 'cause she is one strong woman. She has me pinned to the ground and she grabs another tennis ball and throws it at my face. It hit me in the jaw but that was the least of my worries. I'm still laying there wondering how much trouble I'm in but we both just look at each other and bust out laughing to the point of tears. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

For the rest of the night, I got to hear about how she believed she had a concussion. I guess we also know where I've learned to be over dramatic.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Oh My Bishop!

Ever since I began going to church, my mother has taken it upon herself to make sure I keep going and be good. If I say a bad word, I get the, "Emily Rose Rice. What did you just say?!" Meanwhile, she's swearing up a storm over some guy driving too slow. If I even start to crave coffee and tell my mother about it, she says, "Ah, I'm telling the Mormon God." I've asked her a few times about who she thinks that is. She doesn't know. If I wear a dress that's a tad short, she looks at me and says, "Would Jesus be seen wearing that?" Nope, don't think so but thanks for that image. So tonight, my mother was wearing a pair of jeans that wouldn't be allowed at the school I go to because there are holes in them. I took the opportunity to get back at her for some of the above reasons and say, "Mom, your jeans are against the dress code." She goes, "Well pardon the expression but they can bite my ass," which leads me to my next story.

My being home has led my mother to try some new things. One new thing is going to church with me. She has gone with me for two weeks and loves it so far. I'm also teaching her other expressions to say other than her usual, "Oh my God!" or, in some cases (most cases) her explicit phrases. So far, it's been pretty interesting. The other night, we were in the kitchen cooking whatever and she says, "Ohmygod!" and I said, "Mom!". She quickly says, "I mean ohmybishop!" I nearly died. I did not teach her that. Ohwell, I think we are getting somewhere at least.

I love her!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Capture the Fun

I've decided that I'm going to try one of those 'Photo-A-Day' challenges only I'm going to make it my own. I wasn't a fan of some of the things on their list. Who really wants to see the inside of my bathroom cabinet, my front door, or the inside of my closet? I'm hoping you don't because it's not happening. I will, however, be taking a picture of something that makes me happy each day in February. Hopefully this turns out to be fun. Wish me luck!

Oh, on a side note, my mother brought some gifts back from the States. She bought me some clothes and she brought me the Christmas presents my family was too lazy to send. She also bought herself a little present. It's a sensor that lets out a very high pitched noise that makes the dogs stop barking. Everytime they bark, the noise goes and the dogs stop barking. There's also a big button on this alarm that you can push whenever the dog does something bad and it makes the noise. At first, I thought this was a great idea. We would finally have well behaved dogs! Humans can't hear the high pitched noise so I didn't see how this could be annoying. Well, I'm going to tell you how it can get annoying. My mother has been walking around the house and everytime the dog makes a noise she says, "Don't make me push that button!" or, "I'm going to push the button!" or  "Where's the button?!" I have four dogs. They make a lot of noise. Put the pieces together. I feel like I should tell her that the dogs don't know what "the button" is.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Skype. My New Bestfriend.

Since I've been back in Germany, nothing exciting has really happened. There has been the occassional daytrip somewhere but that all came to an end when my mom left for her business trip. She was gone for two weeks and, during those two weeks, it was my job to stay home and keep things in order. Simple stuff. I took advantage of my time spent at home. My room is now spotless with all of my drawers cleaned out. My closet is now organized. Even my scarves are hung up nicely! I learned how to grocery shop effectively and plan *actual* meals out for the week. But, despite all of my accomplishments, there were some rough moments. Here are a few that you might enjoy:

My dad comes home one Saturday with a new movie. He says it's supposed to be really good such & such. He pops it in and guess what. It's all in Chinese. He bought a movie in Chinese. It had English subtitles but who really wants to read a movie? I don't even read books. He made it half way through it and then we shut it off. He looks at me and says, "Still, the only Chinese I know is '10 minute'."

My dad goes grocery shopping without me one day and comes home with milk, cheese, bread, a cake mix and tampons. "Did I get the right kind?!" Yes, dad. You done good.

After that awesome shopping trip where he obviously bought enough food for the whole week (sense the sarcasm) I went to the kitchen to make dinner. An obvious choice that stood out to me was grilled cheese. So I'm making the grilled cheese and I'm showing my dad how I make it and, when I finish, I say, "And that's how I make my grilled cheeses." My dad looks at me and says, "Cool. Now show me how to make this cake." That was code for, 'I don't want that, make this.'

For our next grocery shopping trip we decided to make a list of things we needed. A good idea considering how the last trip went. I tell my dad that we need lettuce and that I prefer iceberg lettuce. He looks at me and says, "Em, lettuce is lettuce whether it's made from ice or not." Good point? We did end up getting iceberg lettuce but it cost $3.57. Oops.

Then there were the nights. My dad works nights so I'm home aloooone. I was okay with this. I love being home alone. I'm so productive when people aren't around to tell me what to do. But then I was dumb and started watching Criminal Minds. And, after watching a disc of Criminal Minds, I was pretty much convinced that somebody was plotting my death. Every. Night. It doesn't help that our cat weighs a gazillion pounds and sounds like a man running up and down the stairs. But, luckily for me, when it's night time over here, it's day time in the States. And where do a majority of my friends live? The States! So I began skyping. A lot. Bedtime is now at 5am and I don't usually wake up until 11am.  

Now that my mother has come back (and with presents!) I'm going to have to change this little sleeping pattern. Why? Because we're about to take advantage of this long break! I'm so excited. So far, the plan for the next few weeks is looking like this:
Ireland/London
Florida
Italy
New York
:)

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