Oh My Bishop!

Ever since I began going to church, my mother has taken it upon herself to make sure I keep going and be good. If I say a bad word, I get the, "Emily Rose Rice. What did you just say?!" Meanwhile, she's swearing up a storm over some guy driving too slow. If I even start to crave coffee and tell my mother about it, she says, "Ah, I'm telling the Mormon God." I've asked her a few times about who she thinks that is. She doesn't know. If I wear a dress that's a tad short, she looks at me and says, "Would Jesus be seen wearing that?" Nope, don't think so but thanks for that image. So tonight, my mother was wearing a pair of jeans that wouldn't be allowed at the school I go to because there are holes in them. I took the opportunity to get back at her for some of the above reasons and say, "Mom, your jeans are against the dress code." She goes, "Well pardon the expression but they can bite my ass," which leads me to my next story.

My being home has led my mother to try some new things. One new thing is going to church with me. She has gone with me for two weeks and loves it so far. I'm also teaching her other expressions to say other than her usual, "Oh my God!" or, in some cases (most cases) her explicit phrases. So far, it's been pretty interesting. The other night, we were in the kitchen cooking whatever and she says, "Ohmygod!" and I said, "Mom!". She quickly says, "I mean ohmybishop!" I nearly died. I did not teach her that. Ohwell, I think we are getting somewhere at least.

I love her!