My mom and I are like best friends. We have the same personality and we know exactly what each other is thinking without saying any words at all. We can share our clothes, our shoes...but not our shampoo. Apparently Paul Mitchell is too expensive for my hair. Excuse me. Otherwise, we are practically the same person just 26 years apart. We keep each other out of trouble. Actually, I keep her out of trouble. I'm too sneaky to keep out of trouble. She tells people that I act more mature than her at times. I like to think that it's true but, if that's true, it's kind of sad.
Today, my mom and I spent the whole day together. Well, we have spent the last week together but today was different. There wasn't any shopping or errand running involved. It was just my mom and I out for the day. We went to West Point and walked ALL over post. Seriously...I have the blisters to prove it. We got lost in the Military Academy and panicked when the guards saw us. My mom said, "Do you see a way to escape?!" and, sure enough, we managed to find a way. We then lost the car and ended up hitting the panic button to find it. We started driving home over the mountain. We took this road, 218, that's pretty curvy and narrow. My mom asked if I wanted to drive. Of course, I said yes. She pulled over and I got in the driver's seat. We weren't even on the road five seconds and she's bracing herself yelling at me about not turning the steering wheel when I'm supposed to or something. Chill out, man. Then she says she's getting sick and to slow down. I had to pull over. She made me get out after that and I had to sit in the passenger's seat for the rest of the car trips. She was telling the story over dinner and told my grandma that I only lasted three minutes driving. I told her it would have been even less if she at least let me drive the speed limit. Anyway, from that horrible driving experience, we went to Dunkin' Donuts because my mom was complaining that she needed a coffee. From there, we went to the trestle. It's one of my favorite places here. It's a place that my dad used to take me all the time when I was younger. You can see deer and turkeys on the hills and I used to love watching them when I was little. Today, I wanted to take pictures of it. I was taking pictures of the trestle when I heard my mom walking away from me. I turned around and just started taking a bunch of pictures because I knew she was up to something. I was right:
She walks away.
She heads to the tree.
She puts down her drink.
Pulls up her pants.
Pulls on a loose branch.
Pulls on the whole tree.
She catches me taking pictures.
And down she goes.
*Insert break where I'm dying of laughter*
She picks up her coffee.
And walks back smiling all proud of herself.
My mom isn't super weird, I promise. She just likes to have a good laugh once in a while and she's definitely not afraid to be goofy. She knew I was upset about her freaking out while I was driving so she gave me something good to laugh at. I love my mom. I can't imagine spending this beautiful day with anyone else. Today, minus the driving incident, was perfect. It was the day we switched coats.
I never thought I'd be able to say I was stranded at sea but that's what I was today. Stranded at sea.
My cousin, Eva, and I have been going out with our fathers every morning to fish. We load up the boat, head to the dock and off we go! Today, we left around 8 and headed out to island hoping to catch the big one. Nope. Nothing. We go to another island and same deal. Another island, same thing. Eva and I decide to quit on the whole fishing thing and just dive into the water.
On the way back home our dads make one more stop at a sandbar to try one last time. Eva and I just lay on the boat hoping to dry off before finishing the ride back. We were talking about how if we had to get wet again we'd be pretty upset.
Well. Our dads return empty handed, get in the boat and attempt to start the motor. That's right. Attempt. It's broken. We have one little paddle that does nothing so we're just kind of bobbing along and going with the waves. Eva asks her dad, "How deep is the water here?" "About 3 feet deep," he says. She jumps in surprising us all. "Didn't see that one coming," her dad says. At first he thought she fell in. I just thought she was crazy. Anyway, she grabs the rope and starts pulling the boat back to shore. She's so brave. I just sat at the very front of the boat watching her. No way was I going in there. Especially after watching 'Soul Surfer' the night before coming down here.
Then my uncle gets out to push. Then my dad gets out. So I'm just sitting in the boat knowing I should help some how but refusing to enter the water. My dad leaves the boat and gets to shore to find his car, meet us at some boat ramp...I don't know. Meanwhile, I'm still bobbing around in the boat, my uncle is pulling it and Eva is sitting at the other end of the boat. We go under a bridge...still walking with the boat. Then my uncle hits mud. He's up to his waist in mud, water on top of that and hanging on to the boat saying he can't hang on any longer. I honestly thought he was going to drown.
I don't know how but we finally get to shore. Eva and I had to stay with the boat while our dads worked some stuff out. My mom calls as we are waiting. "What are you guys up to?" Siiigh.
I just had the best time in London over this past weekend! My mother and I left early Friday morning and got to London around 8am. I, being the smart one I am, chose to just pull an all-nighter so I didn't have to bother with an alarm clock that morning. That bit me in the butt big time later on that day. Anyway, we checked into the hotel and, right off the bat, the fun began.
Day One:
The Elevator
As my mom and I try to get up to our room on the seventh floor, we encountered some problems. We go into the first "lift" that's available and continuously hit the '7' button. It never lights up. My mom looks at me and says, "Did it work?" It obviously didn't because we shot up to the 22nd floor so a flight attendant could get on and ride back down to the ground floor to check out. Lovely. So then we get into a different "lift" and my mom says to the buttons in a British accent, "Can you take me to the seventh floor?" She hits the button and nothing happens. "Apparently not," she says and we hop into a another "lift". This time more people get on with us and, as my mom is pushing the '7' button, a man says, "No, no, no. You have to put the room card into the slot first." How security-ful of the British. Now the buttons are working. Everyone is saying the floor number they want and my mom is pushing the buttons. A man in the back says, "Just hit all the buttons!" Obviously kidding. My mom says, "Okay!" and makes a whooshing noise pretending to hit the buttons. She then says, "Ooooh, it's like a Christmas tree!" If you don't get that movie reference, you're no longer my friend.
The whole situation reminded me of this youtube video:
Helping the Poor? Not Our Style.
It was freeezing in London! I was taking so many pictures, mainly because I'm in love with my dad's camera, and my hands were practically numb. My mom gave me her mittens to wear for a while. As we are turning a corner, a lady starts to ask me if I can take a picture for her and her friend but sees my mittens and decides it wouldn't be a good idea. Good thinking, stranger! My mom sees this going down and offers to take the picture for them. This leaves me to fend for myself for a minute. Shouldn't be hard, right? Wrong. I get into a lovely conversation with some poor lady who is handing out pink flowers. She puts one on my coat and then asks if I will be willing to donate to the poor. I tell her I have no money but my mother does. My mom comes back, sees what I have done and rolls her eyes. My mother is asked if she is willing to donate to the poor and my mom says, "Uhm. No!" The lady came and took her flower back. How sad.
Big Ben? Who's That?
As we are walking down some random road, a lady approaches us and asks if Big Ben is in the direction we are coming from. My mom says, "I wouldn't know. I never met him." She cracks herself up.
Pictures from Day One:
The London Eye
St. James's Park
Buckingham Palace
Fish & Chips! Yuum.
St. James's Park
Big Ben
My Photogenic Self
Day Two:
Snow!
We woke up to a good 4 inches of snow! I thought it made everything look so pretty. My mother thought it made everything look dreadful. She was not looking forward to walking around in the snow all day. It didn't bother me though. I loved it :)
That's Awkward
On one of the bus tours, a tour guide came up to us and said to me, "I'm going to take your beautiful sister out to dinner tonight. I'll give you my number so you can get ahold of her or myself if you need anything, okay?" Awkwaaaard. He then goes on asking where we are from and so on. I tell him we are from New York and he says, "Oh! You guys have guns!" and walks away.
I Want Hard Rock!
I reallllly wanted to go to the Hard Rock Cafe while we were in London. We saw it from the bus tour that morning. I looked at a map and thought we could cut through Hyde Park from one of the bus stops and get to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. I tell my mom that I want to get off the bus at the park and we do. As we are cutting through the park, it becomes clear that the walk is pretty much...Hell. It was icy, slushy and puddles were everywhere. My mom wasn't wearing snow shoes so her feet were soaked! She looks at me and says, "WHY did you want to walk in the park?!" I say, "I thought we could walk through it and get to the Hard Rock." At the time I didn't know it was a good half hour walk...in sunshine. She looks at me and says, "You're such an ass!" and turns around and starts walking back to the bus stop. I follow. A minute later she turns around and says, "I'm pissed!" As if I couldn't tell by her previous comment. She starts doing her "I'm mad" walk that so many mothers have perfected. It was making me laugh so I took a picture...
"I'm PISSED!"
The Hard Rock Cafe
We finally got there around 5:30pm. We had to do the whole tour of London over again on the bus in order to get back to the stop for the Cafe. The food was delicious! My hamburger was huge though. The waiter asked if I liked my meal 'cause he didn't think I ate a lot. I was actually proud of how my plate looked when I was done. I thought I put a real dent in the food. I guess not.
Ever since I began going to church, my mother has taken it upon herself to make sure I keep going and be good. If I say a bad word, I get the, "Emily Rose Rice. What did you just say?!" Meanwhile, she's swearing up a storm over some guy driving too slow. If I even start to crave coffee and tell my mother about it, she says, "Ah, I'm telling the Mormon God." I've asked her a few times about who she thinks that is. She doesn't know. If I wear a dress that's a tad short, she looks at me and says, "Would Jesus be seen wearing that?" Nope, don't think so but thanks for that image. So tonight, my mother was wearing a pair of jeans that wouldn't be allowed at the school I go to because there are holes in them. I took the opportunity to get back at her for some of the above reasons and say, "Mom, your jeans are against the dress code." She goes, "Well pardon the expression but they can bite my ass," which leads me to my next story.
My being home has led my mother to try some new things. One new thing is going to church with me. She has gone with me for two weeks and loves it so far. I'm also teaching her other expressions to say other than her usual, "Oh my God!" or, in some cases (most cases) her explicit phrases. So far, it's been pretty interesting. The other night, we were in the kitchen cooking whatever and she says, "Ohmygod!" and I said, "Mom!". She quickly says, "I mean ohmybishop!" I nearly died. I did not teach her that. Ohwell, I think we are getting somewhere at least.
